Monday, October 15, 2007

Lessons from a Polar Bear

My mom sent me this email with these photos. I just had to share me it says that nothing is absolute....and anything IS possible...think about it.

Stuart Brown describes Norbert Rosing's striking images of a wild polar bear playing with sled dogs in the wilds of Canada's Hudson Bay.

The photographer was sure he was going to see the end of his huskies when the polar bear materialized out of the blue, but saw this instead . . .

The Polar Bear returned every night that week to play with the dogs.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Getting to know the Real Me

Now that I have some down time, I intend to put it to good use. Not only by spending a lot of time in my studio, but also writing again, contemplating, soul searching, and getting to know the Real Me.

My life has been a whirlwind of events, activities, and drama. I have spent many years taking care of others...friends, family (including our 6 children)and business associates. I am 41 years old and I feel like I don't even know myself. Growing up I had an abusive childhood. Yes, there were good times too, but it was stained by the abuse that I suffered from the age of 5 to 13 years. At 13, I became strong enough to stand up for myself, (my family never did) and stop the abuse on my own. Today, I am a stronger person because of that, but I am forever tainted. The person who abused me is STILL a member of our 'family'. My geneoligical family. He isn't part of My family! I will never speak to him or see him again, but the rest of my family does....and that hurts....

Anyway, my point is that due to the abuse, I have spent most of my life taking care of others feelings and ignoring my own. I have had to 'put on a happy face' and 'pretend' to be 'nice'. I have had to portray this 'normal' girl, who is happy and content, when inside, I am screaming and raging from the horrendous way my family has covered up the 'events', and continues to do so.

Sometimes, I feel like a clown. Perhaps that is why I am intrugued by the circus so much. I love clowns, I love to draw them, and especially the vintage circus. I feel connected to that because I lived life has been a circus, and I have been the main act.

Now...I am ready to take off the makeup and get to know the Real little girl that was forgotten so long ago. I am going to nurture that little girl, and show her the love she was not shown. I am going to take the time to get to know the Real Me.

During this time I am going to commit to being 'true to myself'. Brutal honesty is going to dominate my thoughts. I want to spend time really delving into things like; what makes me tick, why do i like peanut butter and chocolate ice cream, what are my dreams, and how can I turn them into a reality. I want to go on a journey of self discovery and you know what? I bet I will find out that I am FABULOUS!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

I love these pictures my daughter Ciarra took of me on my 41st Birthday. I altered it...of course!

The other pics are of Ciarra and Me, and my BFF Laurie and Me. Don't we look happy? We were playing dress-up!

Friday, September 21, 2007

A New Day...A New Life...

Today is my Birthday...A New Day...A New Life....That's what I am giving myself for my birthday. I want a new life. A beautifully simple life filled with only the things I treasure. It is my goal to focus on only the things I treasure, and bring more of that into my life. I intend to be focused on filling my life with love & meaning. I want my life to mean make a make a differance. This is a photo of some treasures I found recently while 'Junkin'. The tree perfectly depicts what I am talking about. It is beautiful & strong, yet simple. The exquisite vintage silk napkins are too, and the doile has all the little details I love.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

I'm a newbie!

Hey there ya'll...I'm a new kid on the block!